Wednesday 21^stJuly 2021

Hello, and welcome to Day 2 of Money and Marriage. 

In this blog, I share with you how I am trying to persuade my husband to open his eyes to our finances and get on the same page! 

Earlier this week, we watched Rachel Cruze and Dr John Malony in their ‘Marriage and Money’ LiveStream – although we didn’t watch it live because we live in East Africa, and it was 3:30am here! So we watched it the next evening. For Bob to sit with me and watch this was a real turn of events. He’s always been so closed and shut down when I try to talk about money, so I was excited!

In the LiveStream, Rachel discussed the ‘Know Yourself Know Your Money Assessment’, so today, I completed mine and I asked Bob to complete his. I could tell he didn’t really want to; his heart wasn’t in it but he completed it anyway. I am finding that I can’t keep going on about this finance stuff, I have to tread carefully and go slowly… even though I want him to sit down with me and spend a whole day looking at our finances and making plans! 

The results were interesting and some of Bob’s answers made me laugh out loud.

Check out the table below for a few of the key points:

	June	Bob
What Baby Step are you on?	Baby Step 3	What’s a Baby Step?
For me to feel comfortable, my emergency savings can’t get below:	$15,000	$50
How much do you currently have in non-mortgage consumer debt?	$0	$18,000
How many different types of non-mortgage consumer debt do you have?	0	2

Whilst writing this blog, I was able to spend time on my own, reflecting on the Baby Step question. Now I have obviously read The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey and listen to The Ramsey Show Podcasts so I know all about the Baby Steps. I did think that I had explained them to Bob but obviously not. I will have to approach this area slowly. I think asking him to read the book would be tricky as he’s not an avid book reader (he’s very dyslexic so reading is not easy) BUT he may listen to the audio version. I will mention that to him today. 

Another thought I had, is that if we are going to be on the same page re our finances, then I am not on Baby Step 3 but on Baby Step 2 as we will have to clear the $18000 of debt. 

Interestingly, the Assessment revealed that we both grew up in homes where money was not talked about. The Assessment states that you most likely find it difficult to talk about money issues. You may not know a lot about money or financial topics – and you many think you can’t learn this stuff. We have never talked about how money was discussed growing up so this was a valuable insight. I did try to start a conversation about this but Bob just closed down and gave me monosyllabic answers – a sure sign for me to stop talking.

I am not sure what happened to me but I love learning and many of the podcasts I listen to and the books I read are based on finances.

When Bob and I sat down to look at the results, he admitted that these facts were true, and he did feel intimidated. Towards the end of the Assessment, it did reveal that he doesn’t feel capable when it comes to money. I told him about its 80% behaviour and 20% head knowledge, which he did seem surprised at. 

The rest of the Assessment didn’t reveal any further surprises: 

I am a saver and Bob is a spender. 

I am the nerd and Bob is the free spirit! 

So, my goal for today is to ask Bob to listen to the audio version of The Total Money Makeover. I am not sure how that’s going to go down but I will ask. Wish me luck…

June xx