Why It’s Time to Normalize Getting Financial Help

We live in a culture where it’s increasingly acceptable to seek help for our mental health, physical wellness and even relationship challenges. Therapy has lost much of its stigma, fitness trainers are mainstream and marriage counseling is widely recognized as valuable. Yet when it comes to our financial health, many Americans still struggle in silence, too embarrassed to admit they need help managing their money.

It’s time for that to change.

Just as we’ve normalized seeking professional guidance for other aspects of our lives, we need to end the stigma around getting help with our finances. The truth is simple: there is absolutely no shame in asking for financial help. In fact, it’s one of the smartest decisions you can make for your future.

Why Financial Shame Exists in the First Place

The shame around financial struggles isn’t entirely unfounded – it stems from a real problem in our education system. Financial literacy education in American schools is woefully inadequate. According to the National Financial Educators Council’s 2023 study, the average American loses approximately $1,882 per year due to financial illiteracy. Even more concerning, only 21 states require high school students to take a personal finance course and the quality of these programs varies dramatically.

College doesn’t fill this gap either. Most degree programs, even business-related ones, don’t teach practical personal finance skills like budgeting, debt management, or investment basics. We graduate students who can analyze complex business cases but can’t create a household budget or understand compound interest.

So if you’re struggling with money management, remember this: you’re not failing at something you should have learned. You’re dealing with the consequences of an educational system that failed to teach you essential life skills.

My Personal Journey: From Financial Chaos to Coaching

I speak from experience here. For 18 years, my husband and I avoided talking about money entirely. We just carried on as if everything would somehow work out on its own. Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

Our finances were an absolute mess. We had debt piling up, no emergency fund, no clear budget and certainly no investment strategy. Despite having a financial advisor, marriage mentors and even attending marriage preparation classes at our church, no one had ever taught us the basics: how to communicate about money, create a realistic budget, spend less than we earn, systematically pay down debt, build an emergency fund and then invest for the future.

Looking back, I have zero shame about this period of our lives. Why? Because we genuinely didn’t know what we didn’t know. We weren’t lazy or irresponsible – we were simply uneducated about personal finance.

This experience transformed my perspective and eventually led me to become a financial coach specializing in helping couples. I’ve seen firsthand how life-changing it can be when people get the right guidance and support. It’s not just about the money – it’s about the peace of mind, the improved relationships and the sense of control that comes with financial wellness.

Five Clear Signs It’s Time to Ask for Help

If you’re wondering whether you might benefit from financial guidance, here are five indicators that it’s time to seek help:

1. Money Is Causing Relationship Conflict

If you and your partner are frequently arguing about money, this is a major red flag. Money fights are rarely about the money itself – they’re usually symptoms of deeper communication issues, misaligned values, or financial stress. These conflicts can seriously damage relationships if left unaddressed.

Money arguments often stem from a lack of clarity about financial goals, poor communication around spending decisions, or underlying anxiety about financial security. Professional help can provide you with tools to communicate more effectively and create shared financial goals.

2. You’re Consistently Spending More Than You Earn

Living paycheck to paycheck or regularly using credit cards to cover basic expenses indicates a fundamental imbalance in your financial system. This isn’t sustainable long-term and will only get worse without intervention.

If you feel like you have an “income problem” but suspect the real issue might be spending habits or budget allocation, it’s time to get an objective perspective on your finances.

3. Money Anxiety Is Affecting Your Daily Life

Financial stress shouldn’t dominate your thoughts or keep you awake at night. If you’re experiencing persistent anxiety, fear, or stress about money, you deserve help. Financial wellness includes emotional peace around money, not just having enough of it.

Many people accept financial anxiety as normal, but it doesn’t have to be. When money is managed well, the stress naturally diminishes, replaced by confidence and peace of mind.

4. You’re Stuck in Financial “Insanity”

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting different results. If you keep hoping your debt will decrease without changing your spending habits, or expecting your savings to grow without a clear plan, you’re experiencing financial insanity.

This pattern often indicates that you know something needs to change but aren’t sure what steps to take or how to implement lasting changes.

5. Your DIY Efforts Aren’t Working

Maybe you’ve tried creating budgets that never stick, downloaded apps that you don’t use, or started debt payoff plans that fizzled out. If you’ve made multiple attempts to improve your financial situation without success, it’s not a personal failing – you might simply need guidance, accountability, or a different approach.

The Mental Barriers Keeping You Stuck

Even when people recognize they need help, certain thoughts and beliefs often prevent them from seeking it. Let’s address the most common ones:

“I Can’t Afford Financial Coaching”

This is perhaps the most ironic barrier of all. If you’re struggling financially, investing in financial education and coaching often pays for itself quickly. Many of my clients see significant improvements in their financial situation within the first 30 days of working together.

Consider this: if poor financial decisions are costing you hundreds or thousands of dollars per year, doesn’t it make sense to invest in getting better at managing money? The National Financial Educators Council study I mentioned earlier found that Americans lose nearly $2,000 annually due to financial illiteracy. Quality financial coaching typically costs less than that per year.

“I Should Be Able to Do This Myself”

This belief assumes that personal finance management is intuitive or that everyone should naturally know how to handle money well. Neither is true.

If you had the knowledge, tools, and systems needed to manage money effectively, you would already be doing it. There’s no shame in lacking skills you were never taught. We don’t expect people to intuitively know how to perform surgery, fix cars, or practice law – why should money management be different?

“It’s Not That Bad”

This is often a form of denial that prevents people from addressing problems before they become crises. If you’re experiencing any of the five signs I mentioned earlier, your situation could benefit from improvement, regardless of how “bad” it seems compared to others.

The goal isn’t to wait until you’re in crisis mode – it’s to optimize your financial health while you still have options and flexibility.

“I’ll Be Judged”

The fear of judgment is powerful, but it’s often based on projection rather than reality. Financial coaches are trained to help, not judge. We’ve seen it all, and our job is to meet you where you are and help you move forward.

The judgment you’re worried about from others is far less damaging than the ongoing stress, anxiety, and financial consequences of not getting help.

Reframing Your Mindset

If you recognize yourself in any of these barriers, it’s time to shift your thinking:

Instead of “I can’t afford it,” try “I’ll find a way.” Focus on the value and long-term benefits rather than just the immediate cost.

Instead of “I should do this alone,” remember that “I don’t have to do this alone.” Successful people in every field use coaches, mentors, and advisors.

Instead of “It’s not that bad,” consider “I don’t want it to get worse.” Proactive steps are always easier than reactive ones.

Instead of worrying about judgment, focus on results. The opinion of others matters far less than your financial peace and security.

The Transformation Awaits

Working with couples to improve their financial health has shown me repeatedly how transformative proper financial guidance becomes. The numbers in your bank account improve, but that’s just the beginning. You gain peace from having a clear plan, confidence from understanding your options, and relationship harmony from aligning on financial goals.

When you work with a financial professional, you receive advice, accountability, personalized strategies, and ongoing support. You’ll learn to work with your current income and expenses, create sustainable surpluses, and direct those surpluses toward your most important goals.

Yes, a good coach will challenge some of your spending decisions, especially when they conflict with your stated goals. However, this represents accountability to help you succeed, not judgment.

Taking the Next Step

If you’re experiencing any of the signs we’ve discussed, or if you simply want your financial situation to improve, consider this your invitation to explore getting help. Click on this link and schedule a call with me. It’s a 15 minute, free call to see how I can help you.

Remember: you don’t have to figure this out alone. Just as you wouldn’t hesitate to see a doctor for physical symptoms or a therapist for emotional challenges, there’s no shame in getting professional help for your financial health.

The stigma around seeking financial help is outdated and counterproductive. It’s time to treat financial wellness with the same respect and priority we give to other aspects of our health and wellbeing.

Your future self will thank you for having the courage to ask for help today.

Read more: What is a finance coach and what do they do?

This blog was inspired by Nino Villa.