For most marriages, finances can be a source of stress, BUT there are some things you can do to find financial success as a married couple.

In this blog, I’m going to share some simple strategies to help you manage money well—as a team!

My husband and I sit down every month and go through a super easy-to-use Intentional Spending Plan. 

We look at the money coming in and the money going out—the expenses. If the numbers go in the red, we look at where we can be flexible. It’s important to remember that things don’t always go to plan, and it’s okay if you have to swap things around—or take things out!

Look at what you have left, and if you get to the point where you have money left over, that’s really fun.

You can have fun treating yourself to a night out or treating a friend. You could also give to friends. We always have fun if we can give to friends, and it’s especially fun when you can give anonymously!

It’s great to get to the fun part, but at the beginning of your married life, things can be hard.

When we first got married, we never had any new furniture—everything in the house was pre-loved, and we lived like that for years! We didn’t have a huge income to begin with. 

My husband worked as a youth worker, and I was a teacher. You can imagine that there were months when it was tough just making ends meet.

In most areas of our lives, we were really sensible. However, in other areas, we weren’t smart with our money. We’d sometimes splurge on things we really didn’t need or justify a “treat” even when we didn’t have the money. These seemingly small decisions piled up over time.

I wish I could say that we didn’t go into debt, but sadly, that’s not true.

You see, when we were married, we didn’t have a clue about money, and it showed. Our finances were a mess, which is why I am passionate about helping couples avoid the mistakes we made.

We ‘made do’ with lots of things, but we were still going into the overdraft every month. Every payday, I felt like we were just catching up on bills and never getting ahead. I know this is a common feeling for many couples—feeling like they are on a treadmill, working hard but not really progressing financially.

I really wish that we’d started budgeting earlier—when you budget, you can see the big picture. You can see where your money is going, rather than wondering where it went.

But no one ever spoke to us about money.

We were managing our finances in isolation, assuming we’d eventually figure it out. However, without a clear plan or knowledge of how to budget effectively, we struggled. The turning point came when we both agreed to get serious about our financial goals and create a realistic plan.

Now, after years of misunderstanding and miscommunication with my husband, we are finally on the same financial page, creating and crushing our money goals as a team!

It took us nearly two decades to get here, but our journey can serve as a lesson to others: it’s never too late to start making smart financial decisions. Whether you’re newlyweds or have been married for years, you can work together to achieve financial harmony.

1. Start talking about money

If you are going to achieve financial success as a married couple, then you both need to be open to talking about money (hopefully, you’ve had a conversation about money before getting married!). You need to be open and honest.

Now remember: you have come from two different homes that, almost certainly, deal with financial situations in two different ways.

Neither one is right or wrong. You now are now married and you have to start thinking and acting as one team. As you learn to create a new financial path, be sure to be an active listener and listen without judgement.

If your spouse reveals some debt, show grace and love. Stay calm—there’s nothing you can’t work out together!

If your spouse won’t talk about money, then you need to read ‘How to Get on the Same Financial Page as Your Spouse’. It gives you top tips on how you can talk to your spouse about money—without arguing!

Then, once you start talking about money, follow these tips to find financial success as a married couple!

2. Calculate your net worth

Assets are everything you own that has value. Examples include cash in bank accounts, investments (stocks, bonds, pensions), real estate, personal property, and other valuable assets like cars or jewellery.

Liabilities are your debts or obligations. These include mortgages, credit card debt, loans (car, student, personal), and other outstanding payments.

Once you’ve listed both, calculate your net worth:

Net Worth = Total Assets – Total Liabilities

When you see your net worth, you can start creating SMART financial goals.

Read more: Setting Financial Goals 

3. Create a Budget Together

I know, the word ‘budget’ can feel restrictive. But in reality, budgeting is empowering—it gives you control over your money and ensures you’re spending in line with your values.

Find a budgeting system that works for you. It could be as simple as using pen and paper, or you could use an app like YNAB or a spreadsheet.

If you’re looking for a super simple, easy-to-use spreadsheet, check out my Intentional Spending Plan. It’s the one my husband and I use, and it’s worked for us. Get it for free today!

4. Track Your Income

Start by knowing exactly how much money you have coming in. This should include:

• Salary (after tax)
• Freelance or side hustle income
• Investments
• Any other sources of income

Knowing your total income helps you understand what you have to work with.

5. List Your Fixed and Variable Expenses

Fixed Expenses: These are costs that remain the same each month, like rent/mortgage, utility bills, insurance, and loan payments.

Variable Expenses: These costs can change from month to month, such as groceries, transportation, entertainment, and dining out.

Knowing both your fixed and variable expenses allows you to see where your money is going and where you might cut back if needed.

Now, I want to add here that it is vital that you have a category for ‘Fun Money’. Just because you are working towards your money goals, doesn’t mean that you can’t have any fun. Make sure that you have some money for a meal out, ice cream, a trip to the movies, things that you enjoy.

6. Prioritise Savings and Goals

Before spending on non-essential items, make sure you’re setting aside money for savings and goals:

I would suggest that your priorities are as follows:

• Save a small emergency fund of £3000
• Eliminate all debt apart from your mortgage
• Save a three – six month emergency fund
• Save a further £10,000 to invest – I would highly recommend that you seek advice from a Financial Planner at this stage

When you create shared goals, it deepens your relationship. Take it from me, working together and being on the same page is so important and so fun! It takes time and effort but it is so worth it. You are two individuals working together and, over time, your values become aligned together.

7. Choose a Budgeting Method

There are several budgeting methods you can use. Here are some popular ones:

50/30/20 Rule: Allocate 50% of your income to needs, 30% to wants, and 20% to savings and debt repayment.

Zero-Based Budget: Every pound has a purpose, so income minus expenses should equal zero.

Envelope System: Physically or digitally allocate cash into “envelopes” for different categories. When the envelope is empty, stop spending in that category. This is the method that we use. I can honestly say that it’s been a game changer for our finances. But remember, personal finance is personal. You need to find the method that works for you. 

8. Monitor and Adjust

Track your spending throughout the month using apps, spreadsheets, or bank statements. Life isn’t always predictable, so it’s important to be flexible and adjust your budget as needed. Your budget isn’t set in stone—you can move money around if circumstances change.

It takes time to perfect your budget, but with patience and commitment, you can build a solid financial foundation. As a couple, remember that your financial success is not about perfection—it’s about progress and communication.

When you’re both on the same financial page, money becomes a tool for achieving your dreams, not a source of stress. Your financial journey as a couple is unique, and as you grow together, you’ll see that your shared goals strengthen your relationship as well as your bank balance!

At Money and Marriage, I’m all about helping you get on the same financial page, create and crush your money goals together, as a team. I have a coaching programme, ‘Discover Financial Success As A Married Couple’ and if you’re interested in finding out more, email me at hello@moneyandmarriage.net and let’s get the conversation started!