Do you ever feel like you’ve been left to manage your money alone, taking on all the financial responsibility, everything from bills to budgeting, while wishing your partner would engage without shutting down, avoiding the topic, or becoming defensive?

You’re not the only one. 

Managing money as a couple can be complicated and stressful.

Many couples struggle to talk about money. Not because they don’t care but because they’ve never been shown how to have a positive conversation around money. 

Here’s the truth: when you and your spouse can speak about money openly and honestly, it changes everything. Not only does it benefit your finances, but your relationship too.

How do I know? Because I’ve been there. My husband and I were married for 18 years before we got on the same financial page and started managing our money together, as a team.  

And it showed. Our finances were a mess. 

That’s why I am passionate about helping other Christian couples get on the same financial page, so that they can manage their money together, as a team. Because I know what a game changer it can be. 

And, in this blog, I’m going to share with you my top tips on how you and your spouse can start talking about money in a positive way. 

Are you ready? Let’s dive in! 

1. Invite God In First

Before numbers. Before strategy. Before anything else, pray.

Prayer is the foundation for peace in your financial life. When you pause to invite the Holy Spirit into the conversation, you shift from striving to surrender. You and your spouse remember that you’re not enemies, you’re allies. And the Lord is your provider and your guide, 

You might say something like:

“Father, we thank You for everything You’ve given to us. Help us approach this time with open hearts and a spirit of unity. Give us wisdom, patience and clarity as we work together to manage our money in a way that honours You.”

Prayer doesn’t make the conversation perfect but it does make it sacred.

2. Manage your money with compassion, not correction

In the past, I would lead with fear or frustration. “We need to sort this budget!” “You can’t keep spending like this!” Unsurprisingly, that never created the result that I was hoping for.

Eventually, I realised: if I wanted to manage our money together, if I wanted to be heard, I needed to lead with invitation, not interrogation.

Try waiting for a calm, relaxed moment, ideally when your partner is in a good mood and gently say:

“I’ve been thinking about [insert your intention—e.g. saving for a trip, becoming debt-free, or just feeling more at peace with money]. Can we sit down together and praying about our finances this weekend?”

This shifts the tone completely. It communicates trust. 

And it reminds your spouse that you’re not trying to control them, you’re inviting them to build something together.

3. Discover Each Other’s Money Stories

Many people don’t like to talk about money. It’s not because they don’t want to, it’s because they’ve never been shown how. 

That’s why understanding your spouse’s money story is one of the most powerful things you can do. It turns confusion and sometimes anger into compassion and grace.

Try asking:

• What were money conversations like in your home growing up?
• How does money make you feel?
• Did you feel safe, stressed, or left out?
• What’s your earliest memory of money?
  What does financial success mean to you—personally and spiritually?

When I took the time to really listen to my husband’s answers, I realised something important: he wasn’t being “irresponsible”, he simply hadn’t been taught the things I’d been taught. And once I softened, he started opening up, enabling us to manage our money together.

This kind of heart-level understanding may take time. But it lays the foundation for everything else.

4. Establish a Consistent, Low-Pressure Rhythm

Instead of waiting until there’s a financial crisis or major decision, create a simple monthly rhythm of checking in.

This doesn’t have to be formal or overwhelming. Start with just 15–20 minutes. Grab your favorite beverage, light a candle, pray together and talk about one area of your finances.

You might say:

“Would you be up for a short money check-in this weekend, just to stay on the same page and keep moving in the right direction?”

Keep it consistent. Keep it relaxed. The goal is not perfection, it’s progress..

And over time, these regular rhythms will help you both feel more confident and in control.

5. Co-Create a Spirit-Led Spending Plan (With Room for Joy!)

Let’s talk about that word: budget. For many, it feels restrictive—like a list of rules or sacrifices. But what if you reframed it as something more life-giving?

I now call it an Intentional Spending Plan. Because that’s what it is: a plan for how to intentionally use your money in a way that reflects your values, supports your goals and honours God.

Before you create your plan, pause and pray again. Ask for unity, clarity and trust.

Then structure it around three main areas:

• Shared Essentials – Rent, utilities, groceries, debt repayments
  
• Joint Goals – Emergency fund, giving, travel, future dreams
  
• Fun + Freedom – “No questions asked” personal money for each of you
  

This last one is a game-changer.

Whether you each get £20 or £200 per month, having a little money that’s yours to spend freely (without guilt or oversight) creates freedom and relief. It reduces tension and stops those “What did you buy now?” conversations before they even begin.

God didn’t create us to live in constant restriction. He delights in us enjoying the good things He provides, wisely and with gratitude.

6. Dream Together, Decide Together

One of the most powerful shifts for couples is moving from reaction to vision.

Managing your money together, isn’t just talking about what needs to be fixed, it’s about talking about what you’re building. What kind of financial future do you want to create together?

Ask:

• What’s one financial goal we can aim for this year?
• How would it feel to reach that?
• What small action could we take in the next 30 days?
  

Maybe it’s paying off a credit card. Or starting a giving fund. Or finally planning that family trip. Whatever it is, let it be yours, decided together, prayed over and joyfully pursued.

And don’t forget to celebrate along the way. Every debt paid off, every month you stick to your plan, every breakthrough moment—it all counts.

Read more: Celebrate the small wins

When One of You Isn’t Ready Yet

In my experience, one spouse is more motivated than the other. That’s okay.

If your spouse is reluctant or overwhelmed, here are some grace-filled ways to keep the door open:

• Acknowledge the emotion, not the resistance
  “I know money can feel stressful. I want you to feel safe, not pressured. I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
  
• Give it time
  Let them know you’re not giving up, but you’re also not trying to force the issue. Sometimes they just need space to mentally prepare for a money conversation.
  
• Bring in support
  A Christian financial coach can help neutralise the conversation, provide perspective, and create a safe space where both of you feel seen and heard.
  

You’re Not Alone And This Doesn’t Have to Stay Hard

Money can be one of the most vulnerable areas of a marriage. It exposes fears, habits, hopes and unhealed stories.

But you’re not doing this alone.

When you invite God into your financial life, learn how to communicate with care and stay committed to growing together, you begin to experience what true partnership looks like.

I help Christian couples communicate effectively so that they can make empowered financial decisions together.

Take Control of Your Money 

Let’s talk!  Join me for a personalised, one-on-one consultation is designed to help you gain clarity on your financial goals, identify obstacles and create a budget tailored to your unique needs. Whether you’re looking to eliminate debt, build savings, or plan for a prosperous future, I will provide you with actionable insights and practical advice to set you on the path to success. Don’t miss this opportunity to take the first step towards financial freedom – click HERE to schedule your call with me today!