If you’ve been married for more than a day, you know that saying “I do” doesn’t magically align your financial habits overnight. Many couples spend years, even decades, in frustration around money, despite both spouses genuinely wanting to get on the same financial page.

As a financial coach for couples, I’ve walked alongside many couples navigating financial conflict. But here’s what makes my approach different: My husband and I lived this struggle for 18 years. We went nearly two decades without having a single productive conversation about money. Then everything changed when we finally got on the same financial page and started crushing our goals together, as a team.

That transformation wasn’t just about our bank account. It revolutionized our entire marriage. Now I’m passionate about helping other couples experience that same breakthrough, because I know firsthand what a game-changer it is, not just for your finances, but for your relationship too.

The Gap No One Talks About

Here’s what shocked me most about our early marriage: even though we had marriage mentors, attended marriage prep classes and worked with a financial advisor, no one ever taught us how to talk about money. Nobody explained that we needed to be intentional with our finances or that we should spend less than we earn.

It all seems like common sense now, but it took us nearly 20 years to have our first truly positive conversation about money. We had all the “right” resources, but we were missing the most crucial piece: how to communicate openly and honestly about our financial values, fears and dreams.

Read more: How to find financial success as a married couple

When Different Backgrounds Collide

Our money conflicts weren’t really about the numbers—they were about our fundamentally different upbringings. Wayne came from a family where credit was acceptable, even normal. I came from a family of savers who were naturally cautious about debt. Neither approach was right or wrong, but we had never acknowledged these differences, let alone worked to create a new way forward together.

For years, we kept our finances separate. We assumed our spouse thought the same way we did about money, and when that proved false, frustration and misunderstanding followed. We were both committed to each other, but we had never learned how to work together as a team.

What Changed Everything

The breakthrough came when we finally started having open, honest, regular conversations about money. Not heated arguments or one-sided lectures, but genuine dialogue where we both felt heard and valued.

We learned to really listen to each other—not just to respond, but to understand. We began extending grace and love in our financial discussions, practicing patience when our spouse didn’t immediately see things our way. Most importantly, we started thinking win-win instead of approaching money as a zero-sum game where one person wins and the other loses.

This shift transformed everything. Suddenly, we weren’t just managing money, we were building a shared vision for our future. We weren’t just avoiding financial conflict, we were actively working together toward common goals that excited both of us.

The Ripple Effect

When Wayne and I finally got on the same financial page, the impact went far beyond our budget spreadsheet. Our communication improved across every area of our marriage. We felt more connected, more like a team. Our financial goals became achievable because we were both pulling in the same direction.

That’s when I realized this breakthrough couldn’t just be for us. Too many couples are stuck in the same cycle of financial frustration we lived in for 18 years. They love each other, but they’re missing the tools to have healthy, productive conversations about money.

A Safe Space for Couples

This is why I’m so passionate about coaching couples through their money conversations. Too many couples money discussions end in frustration because they lack the right tools and environment. I create a safe, judgment-free space where both spouses can share their financial background, values and concerns without shame or criticism.

We work together to:

• Understand each spouse’s money story and how it shapes their financial decisions
• Create time to have open and honest conversations about money
• Develop shared financial goals that excite both partners
• Build practical systems that work for your unique situation
• Establish ongoing habits that keep you on working towards your joint money goals

Every couple’s journey is different, but the destination is the same: working together to achieve financial peace.

Your Next Step

If you’re tired of the financial tension in your marriage, if you’re ready to stop avoiding money conversations or having the same arguments over and over, I want to help you experience the breakthrough Wayne and I discovered.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. You don’t have to wait another 18 years like we did.

Ready to get on the same financial page with your spouse? Click here to book a free call with me today and let’s start building the financial unity your marriage deserves.

Your marriage and your money, will never be the same.